I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
