i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
