His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
