I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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