We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize