i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
