because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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