someone get that fucking seahorse.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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