My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
