Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
