i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
