His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
