Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
