I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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