He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
this is an emotional support booty call
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