Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need a beard to bite.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
