well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
