About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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