dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
