my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
there's paper in my vomit.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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