Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
