i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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