We're facebook friends in real life
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
