Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
