So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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