i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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