I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
