I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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