we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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