I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
