Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
