thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
