I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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