He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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