he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
