And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
