Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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