wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
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