Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
