It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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