I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
