It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
