then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
