your thong is hanging out like whoa
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
