I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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