just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
