Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
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