dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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