So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
