So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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